current thoughts..

Its been too long.
and now I need a vent. things arent right. i dont know what it is but somethings missing.
things arent how i want them. Friends, family, something is wrong.
why cant i just be ..happy? things are always bad for me, im always so negative about everything.
i used to be a loud happy crazy person that didnt give a fuck about anything, anyone, or what people thought of me.
all my friends were all that mattered. i didnt care about boys, or even think of them any different to my girlfriends.
and noone noticed me like that, i liked being noone.
I know what i need but im not sure it will fill the void. A job and a car, a camera. But theyre not what i neeeed.
then again i dont know what i want. nobody knows what i want. what do i want? i want to know.
what do i need to feel complete? who? what can i do….